Why do I have such a BIG smile?
I am claiming joy even when walking through pain- even when I see nothing but the hardships of life. Both good and bad lives in everyone's world. It’s the paradox of life. I am not special in this aspect, even though I so desperately want to be special. (sigh*) Alas, we all experience pain and joy. Both can coexist, and they often do in my world. Sickness and health. Pain and joy. Love and loss.
Over the last couple of years, we’ve all felt the pressures of this paradox. The pressure has always been there, but walking through a national pandemic as well as family health issues has heightened our sensitivity to all the pressure at once. It has exposed the gaps in such a tremendous way there is no denying it any further. When you are pressed, I’m convinced that whatever comes out of you is who you truly are.
I have been in a pressing season for what feels like forever. I know, I know, I am being dramatic and, well, I am. It’s only really been three years, which is basically forever. I have been wrestling with the Lord trying to figure ‘it’ all out. If you were to open up my prayer journal, you’ll often read the phrase, “Help me, Lord.” I need help with the paradox of this life:
Having a friend who hurt you who then apologizes for the hurt they caused you- and you feel compelled to forgive them in return while also acknowledging the hurt that was caused. A mutual agreement to heal and move forward- loving the other where they are instead of where we’d like for them to be.
The Pinterest/Instagram life of perfection and filters while living a complex and messy life.
The paradox of smiling through a stream of tears.
The paradox of excess while learning to be content with what you have.
Do you know what I have discovered from these strenuous activities? It's that my God is still extending His helping hand to me even when I proudly slap His hand away from me, turn and cross my arms like a juvenile child. Like a loving Father, He kneels and whispers my name, ‘Shareen, I won't hurt you.” I instantly crumble under the weight and pressure and cry in front of the Lord. I extend my hands upward, waiting for the Fatherly embrace. Sure enough, He holds me. He patiently waits for me to come to myself. He knows I am not fighting with Him. He knows my wretched heart and holds me all the same. He can and wants to do this for you too.
So if you see me smiling, it’s not because I figured “it” all out. Far from it. I can somewhat appreciate the paradox of joy and pain in my life.
Life is not easy but when I SIP with people who are for me, it makes a world of difference.
When I SIP with my Father, He shows me His goodness. It’s so often that I consciously have to decide to see the good, be good, and do good when necessary.
As it says in James 1:2-5
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Again, I ask you, why do I have such a BIG smile? I am claiming the banner of JOY over my life. You can too.
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